Reflections and Resolutions

2015 was quite the year. Dominik became a toddler and I really felt the challenges and triumphs of motherhood. It was a year of searching for my place and my new identity. And it was the year I got serious about blogging.

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When Dominik turned one, he still felt so little to me and he was still just a baby. And then he learned how to walk. As he gained this new independence, my entire world changed. Parenting a toddler is so much different than parenting an infant. Learning how to handle tantrums, big emotions, bumps and falls, and the neediness of toddlers was definitely challenging. But every day fills me with joy as I watch him grow, and then the challenges don’t seem that bad anymore.DSC_0316

Then there was the challenge of identity. Until I had Dominik, I was either a student, an intern, or a teacher, or all of the above. I had a strong sense of identity and of my place in the world. But as a stay at home mom? I felt guilty for not using my degrees, but felt like there was no other place I’d rather be than at home with my child.

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My days were completely filled with myself in the mother or wife roles. Where did the rest of me fit in? I was also an artist, a historian, a vegan, and an enthusiastic nerd. 2015 was the year that I learned how to fit together the new puzzle of myself, with mother as a large piece.

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It was also lonely at times. Stay at moms, as I learned, have to really work at making and keeping connections. In a workplace, surrounded by people, friends are easy to make. Most people my age also work week days and spend their evenings meeting up and going out. But with a small child, my social engagements needed to adhere to sleep schedules and be child friendly.

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In an effort to make friends and to occupy my time, I got sucked into the world of babywearing. This turned out to be the turning point in the year. Babywearing groups on social networks like Facebook enabled me to try new things and to make new friends. In fact, I ended up meeting a mom whose son was close to Dominik’s age and who happened to be interested in all the nerdy things that I love.

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Babywearing also inspired me to get back into blogging. I was getting all of this experience with different carriers and figured that I should start to record their wrapping qualities for those that were interested. And when I started writing about babywearing, I remembered how much I love to research and write about things that matter to me.

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Blogging has given me a way to exercise my intellect and share my knowledge. It’s revived my love of cooking and has given me a way to solidify my identity. It’s been challenging, of course, such as learning how to parent a toddler and take decent photographs of the food that I make. But I look forward to planning recipes and writing about my crunchy lifestyle.

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I don’t know what 2016 will bring. I know what I hope that it will bring. And I know that my family will make 2016 just as interesting, exciting, and full of joy. As for resolutions? I suppose that I would like to be healthier, to be a better parent, to keep blogging, etc. But my biggest resolution for this year is to take one day at a time to and cherish each moment with my growing boy.

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